These Phrases shared by A Dad That Saved Me during my time as a First-Time Father

"I think I was just trying to survive for twelve months."

One-time reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey expected to manage the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth soon turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Serious health complications surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Abruptly he was pushed into becoming her chief support as well as looking after their infant son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every change… every stroll. The job of both parents," Ryan stated.

Following 11 months he burnt out. That was when a chat with his parent, on a park bench, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward statement "You're not in a healthy space. You need some help. How can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and regain his footing.

His experience is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While the public is now better used to talking about the stress on mums and about postpartum depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties dads go through.

'It's not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his struggles are part of a wider reluctance to talk amongst men, who often internalise harmful notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and doesn't fall every time."

"It's not a display of being weak to seek help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, says men often don't want to accept they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be requesting help" - especially in preference to a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental state is equally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad provided him with the chance to request a pause - taking a short trip away, outside of the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He understood he required a shift to consider his and his partner's emotional states alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he realised he'd overlooked "what she needed" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the expression of emotion and interpret his decisions as a father.

The idea of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen lacked stable male guidance. Despite having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says bottling up feelings led him to make "terrible choices" when in his youth to alter how he felt, turning in alcohol and substances as an escape from the pain.

"You find your way to substances that don't help," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel overwhelmed, tell a friend, your partner or a therapist about your state of mind. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the things that made you feel like you before having a baby. Examples include playing sport, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Look after the physical health - a good diet, physical activity and if you can, resting, all play a role in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their stories, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that requesting help isn't failing - looking after your own well-being is the optimal method you can look after your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the death, having not spoken to him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead give the stability and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - processing the feelings constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their issues, transformed how they communicate, and learned to control themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… dealing with things and handling things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, on occasion I feel like my job is to teach and advise you on life, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."